Contra Spem Spero
by Lajt Hane
Summary: What if he must do everything to protect his family and friends? What if he must do things he never want to do? What if he hate himself for being who he is? "My dreams... Just to be normal... I think..." Kuroko is working as a male prostitute. And as he hate it from the bottom of his heart... He is still doing this... For one goal... To protect the ones he loved the most...
1. Chapter 1

Series: Kuroko no Basket

Genre: Angst

Rating: NC-17/R

All original characters belongs to Fujimaki Tadatoshi. OC characters belong to me.

* * *

Kuroko Tetsuya hated his job.

The boy shifted the weight of his body onto his other leg.

The day was dark, all covered in gloomy clouds. The sun was trying to get through the gray paper, but it was useless. The wind was blowing through naked trees and picking up leaves that had fallen down a few months ago.

It was cold. Winter had just started. It rained almost every day. People were covered in clothes so thick that it made them look bigger than usual. Little frozen clouds were coming from their mouths.

It was one of the most frigid winters nowadays.

The bluenette smartened himself up and covered his neck from the wind that was now blowing into his eyes, which made them teary with every second. His vision was blurry. He shivered, feeling some of the cold air brush his cheek. He tucked his chin into the scarf.

His pace was slow. And yeah he knew that he was pretty late, but he couldn't move his legs properly. His body ached and he felt like he would freeze any minute now. Not to mention that his head felt like it was going to blow up, like a balloon with too much air in it.

He only prayed that this wasn't the first symptom of some illness. He really didn't have time for that kind of problem. He had different things on his mind.

When he started to calculate a 'to do' list in his head, he felt the ground start to tilt. He shook his head.

Someone bumped into him. He turned to look at the boy in the same Seirin uniform as him. The boy didn't even stop and turn, he just continued running forward like his life depended on it.

Kuroko quickened his pace. He clenched his fingers around the bag on his arm and he breathed bitterly cold autumn air.

When he got to school, there were some students just like him who were late to their morning classes. He walked inside and stopped near his locker to change his shoes. His movements were slow as his hands trembled. Somewhere behind him, he could hear the footsteps of students running to class.

He locked the door and slowly stepped on the landing.

He had never been so happy that his first class was on the first floor.

Kuroko slowly pushed aside the white door and stepped inside the classroom. Just as he expected, no one noticed him. Nobody turned his head at him, not even the teacher. He walked to his desk at the back of the class and sat on his chair.

In front of him, Kagami turned to face him. His red irises were looking straight into his blue orbs.

"Why were you late?" he whispered.

"I overslept..." mumbled the boy and removed a pencil from his bag and put it on the desk.

Kagami was still looking at him even when the teacher told them to note what he was saying.

Kuroko shifted on his chair and opened his notebook.

"Are you feeling...?"

Unfortunately, he didn't have time to finish his sentence because something thin hit the back of his head right in the middle.

The boy whined and turned, touching his aching head.

"Pay attention in my class!" shouted the teacher.

Kagami mumbled something under his breath about the "violence" of Japanese teachers and started to write something in his notebook.

Kuroko liked being invisible sometimes.

* * *

Everyone started to run around the court. Riko just ordered them to run 30 laps with an evil smile on her smile. It meant that she wasn't in good humor. She had actually hit Izuki with her fan even if he hadn't yet finished his lame joke. So that was one of her bad days.

The coach looked at the moving muscles of the running boys in the gym. In her head, she saw numbers. She started to calculate. Riko need to change the training a little bit in order to build up the stamina of the basketball players. The Winter Cup was just in few days and they can't allow themselves to be sloppy and get destroyed in the first match.

"I'm sorry I'm late..."

She turned hearing a male voice behind her.

In the doorway stood Kuroko, wearing his sports t-shirt and shorts. He walked to her and bowed.

"Okay, join rest of them and run 45 laps..." she stated.

Kuroko nodded and slowly jogged to his teammates.

And yes, this was their very own phantom player.

Riko stared at the moving calves of the smallest boy. She sat on the bench and stared at them.

She heard the loud panting of tired sportsmen, the sound of shoes tapping on the gym floor, and the rustle of clothes when their bodies moved.

Kuroko stumbled. He stopped and put his hands on his knees. He breathed slowly in and out and after he rested he came back to his laps.

Aida took out her notepad that she always had in her bag and opened it. She reread all the stats of the little player from a while ago.

She was now sure. He's gotten worse.

Riko noticed it a few days ago when his stats suddenly went down. He got extra exercises to bring them back up but somehow that didn't work and he started to get worse and worse.

The rest of the team stopped in front of the bench and took the bottles of water that stood on it. They wiped their foreheads and necks with towels.

"Kuroko is still running?"

Riko looked at Izuki who stood next to her. He had his hand on his hip. His eyes were moving just as the point that was still running.

"His stamina seemed low, so he needs to do extra laps..." said Riko and contorted back.

Gray eyes looked at her and one eyebrow went up. Then Izuki wiped away the sweat that was trickling down from his forehead.

"I do not know if this will help him. He'll sooner faint than finish your 'extra' lap," murmured Koganei, who sat next to her and was now sipping on his drink.

Aida glared at him. He shivered.

She opened her mouth to say something but a loud 'thud' stopped her. Her eyes traveled to the source of that noise.

She saw that their smallest player was now struggling on the floor, trying to get up again.

"Kuroko!"

Everyone in the team ran to their friend that was now on his knees and touching his face with a trembling palm. They gathered around him, asking him if he was alright or if he was hurt somewhere. Kagami crouched on his one side and Hyuuga on the other. They were trying to get Kuroko's hand away from his mouth.

"Move aside!" ordered Riko.

Everyone moved a few steps back, still looking at the boy.

Riko kneeled in front of the boy.

He had a few bruises and scratches on his elbows and knees. But that wasn't what had caught her attention.

Kuroko still held his palms in front of his face. He was breathing hard.

"Remove your hands…" ordered Riko.

The boy lifted his gaze to his coach and slowly removed his hand.

His nose was blue and a stream of crimson blood was coming from it fast and dripping on the white shirt of his. His lips were cut on the left side.

She gulped and put her hands on the cheeks of the boy. She slowly turned his head to one side and then to the other.

"Get some tissues!" she yelled.

But she didn't have to do that. Tsuchida was running back with a packet of tissues in his hands. He handed it to her.

Riko took out two of them and put it near the boy's nose, but not too near so she won't hurt him.

"Bend down..." she murmured.

Kagami and Hyuuga, who were still behind him, lifted him from his position so he was now standing.

"Kagami-kun go with him to the nurse's office."

"Yes ma'am..." the boy mumbled and wrapped his arm around his partner's shoulders and they slowly walked out of the gym.

After their exit, everyone stood there, not talking. On the floor where Kuroko was kneeling, they could see a few drops of blood.

Riko swept her fringe behind her ear and she looked at her team.

"Some incidents like this happens. Now go to your training. Split up into four groups and do one hundred shots for each of you..."

They looked at her with big eyes and gulped, but they slowly went to the cart of basketballs.

"Hyuuga-kun, wait."

The captain of the team turned to her and lifted his eyebrow. He pushed his glasses higher with his right hand.

"Come with me for a while outside..."

They walked outside the gym where they could hear the dribbling of balls on the gym floor and the squeaking of shoes.

The corridor was dark so they fumbled around while exiting it. They walked to the boys' locker room and went inside.

All the noises stopped when Riko closed the door.

Junpei sat on the bench and hunched up with his elbows on his knees. Aida leaned on the wall just next to the door. She stared at the captain of the team.

"What did you want to talk about?" asked the boy while pulling his glasses off.

The coach watched as he wiped it with his shirt and put it back on his face.

"It's about Kuroko-kun..."

Hyuuga blinked a few times, not understanding what his friend meant so he kept silent until she continued.

"I'm getting worried about him. Lately, his stats have gone down as well as his strength. You saw what happened today..."

The boy nodded.

"Can you talk with him?"

Hyuuga opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it once again. After a few seconds, he ran his hand through his hair.

"Yes, I can. But I don't know if he'll tell me anything... and wouldn't it be better if Kagami asked him? They're pretty close to each other..." he mumbled, staring at his coach.

Riko crossed her arms over her chest.

"Kagami is too stupid. He can't be patient and if Kuroko won't tell him what he wants, he will just get angry..." she said, smirking slightly.

Hyuuga sighed loudly. His arms and shoulders slumped.

"So you want someone who can... get information out of him without getting into a fight?" he asked.

The girl grinned at him with this cute smile (that Hyuuga knew to mean evil).

"Yes~!"

Yes, Aida Riko was sometimes a devil in human form. She tapped her palm on her arm, still smiling.

"Okay, I'll do it!" he stated and massaged his temples.

How can he talk with an untalkative person?

* * *

When they reached the nurse's office, the tissues were all red so the blood was now dripping onto Kuroko's palm.

The nurse jumped from her chair when she saw both of them and ordered the boy to sit on the bed. In the meantime, she searched her locker for medicines and bandages.

Kagami stood next to his partner, looking at the changing face of his. He was biting his lips and blinking from time to time while looking at the tissue.

The woman put a chair in front of him and he sat on it. She put the boy's hands away from his injured face and started to examine it. With her finger, she gently touched Kuroko's nose.

He hissed quietly at this touch.

Then from the first aid kit on her lap, she got out some gauze and arranged it into a square. She placed it in front of his nose. She ordered him to hold it and at the same time she put a cold compress in a medicine packet. Kagami offered to hold it against the violet bruise that was forming on Kuroko's nose. The nurse smiled softly at his help and watered some snowy cotton with hydrogen peroxide in her hand. Then she slowly started to disinfect all the injuries on boy's body.

When she got to his nose, he hissed but put the gauze away. She slowly wiped the places where she could reach, but Kagami could see a grimace of pain on his mouth.

After few minutes that almost seemed like an hour, the woman changed the gauze and ordered Kuroko to sit in this position for a while. She, in that time, went to the teachers' office to fill up some documents of injury.

When she went out, Kagami fell onto the bed next to his partner, still holding the compress to the boy's nose.

"Mou, you're so weak..." he said.

The boy glared at him.

'Ihm noth weagh..." the boy mumbled from his gauze.

The redhaired boy smirked, looking at the face of his friend that he knew so well. But then, his smile faded away when he looked into his blue orbs.

"If you weren't feeling well, why didn't you tell us sooner?" he asked.

The smaller looked at him and blinked.

"Ihm arr whairt..."

"Yeah, especially your nose..." murmured Kagami with this playful smirk on his lips.

At the same time, Kuroko hit his ankle. Taiga whined at this unexpected pain. He growled

"Why did you do that?"

"Inh refenghe..."

Kagami felt his cheeks become red from anger that was bulging inside him.

But Kuroko was still looking at him with those blue orbs showing no emotion.

Suddenly, he lifted his head and looked at something behind Kagami. Slowly, he stood up and walked there.

Kagami turned to him with the compress in his head.

The boy was walking to the mirror that hung in the corner of the office.

He stopped in front of it and started to look at his pale face. He then took out the gauze and looked at his violet nose from every angle. With his clean finger, he touched it and then it slid to the cut on his lip. His eyes examined it with curiosity. He brushed his cheek with his thumb.

"Mhy faish looks therible" he mumbled once again looking at his injury.

Kagami put the compress next to him on the bed.

"It will recuperate in few days..."

Kuroko put the white material back in its place.

"Ah hoph sho..."

* * *

Hyuuga stared as Kagami and Kuroko entered the gym. The smaller had gauze plastered to his nose. It had stopped bleeding but he still had bruises around the injury.

Every member of the team stopped what they were doing and ran to them. They circled them again and started asking questions if Kuroko was all aright.

"His nose is just barely battered. Nothing really dangerous..." stated Kagami.

Everyone looked at him with doubt in their eyes, but said nothing. They questioned the smaller boy if it hurt and if so if it ached a lot.

Kuroko slowly answered all the questions, making his friends laugh at his voice. He still mumbled a little.

Kuroko sat on the bench until the end of training and only watched the others practice. From time to time, he touched the material but after that he went back to observing his teammates.

They all went to the showers to wash the sweat from their bodies.

The phantom sixth player stayed in the locker room.

Hyuuga went out last. He looked around and spotted the boy in the corner who took his uniform's shirt from his locker. He walked to him.

"Kuroko..."

The said boy lifted his gaze to his captain.

"Yes?" he mumbled.

"Can I walk home with you today?"

The face of the boy didn't change. Maybe his eyebrows went a little bit higher than usual, but Junpei wasn't sure.

"Sure..."

"So wait for me at the front gate."

The boy nodded. After that, Hyuuga went to the shower.

He didn't understand but he felt nervous. He couldn't wash his hair properly and he got some of the shampoo in his eye and he hissed at the sharp pain. Then he couldn't put his leg into his trousers.

When he was all done, there was no one in the changing room. He slowly took his things and went out. He walked along the dark corridor, looking at the floor.

How was he supposed to start their conversation? If Kuroko was going to answer his hidden questions? He didn't know if he could play long enough to make him answer. Is he calm enough?

He stopped and looked at the boy that leaned on the gate to the school.

Hyuuga caught up to him and patted his arm.

"Did I make you wait?" he asked.

Kuroko looked at him and blinked.

"No, not that much..." he murmured.

Hyuuga wanted to facepalm himself. He was the last to exit the gym. Of course he made him wait!

They turned and started to walk.

The only thing that occupied the boy's head was this conversation. He opened his mouth like three times but no sound came out.

Time flew. Many different people walked past them, but not even one glanced at the boy with dressing on his face. Kuroko was invisible, even in a crowd. It seemed that that didn't really bother him. He was staring straight forward with his empty expression and it almost looks like he wasn't thinking about anything, but from time to time his orbs disappeared behind the curtain of uncertainty.

The boy gulped.

"How is your nose?" He decided to start with the obvious problem.

Tetsuya looked at his companion.

"Good. It doesn't hurt now..."

His voice was barely audible so Hyuuga needed to step closer to him.

"It really scared us when you fell down..."

Kuroko didn't respond at once. He swallowed his saliva with a little bit of difficulty.

"I'm sorry..." he murmured.

His eyes clouded over. He stared at the concrete under their feet. His nostrils moved like he was trying to breath through them.

"Do not worry so much. We're your teammates. But care for yourself more!" He wanted to put a lecturing tone into his sentences. It looks like it worked.

The boy looked at him, blinking a few times. He wasn't sure, but maybe, just maybe, a corner of his lips went a little higher.

He was on the good road to victory.

"Are you even eating properly?" he asked, trying to sound kind. His eyebrow twitched.

Kuroko stared at him, still walking.

"I eat enough..."

This answer was neither good nor bad in Hyuuga's opinion. Just, he should've known that Kuroko would answer in that way.

"But you're small!" the captain pointed out.

Kuroko glared at his Captain with his blue orbs that seemed like a deep ocean.

"I'm not short. I can almost reach the highest shelf!"

Hyuuga caught his last two words. This was a mistake that Kuroko made, and it was his chance, he couldn't let it slip past.

"Highest shelf?" he repeated.

The blue-haired boy turned his head to the road in front of him.

It looks like Junpei hit some kind of invisible wall in the phantom player's character. He scratched the back of his head.

They stopped at the traffic light.

Kuroko still didn't look at him. With this bored expression of his, he stared at the pedestrian crossing.

Hyuuga decided to wait. They passed the road. They listened to the chattering of other people, their laughter and whispers in ears.

After a few steps, they walked into one of the silent alleys in the town. Almost all shops at this street were closed and only one or two people walked near them.

He sighed.

"Do you have a part-time job?" he asked.

The boy lifted his head a bit and after a few seconds, he slowly nodded. It was almost imperceptible, but Hyuuga was sure he had seen it.

"Working is prohibited by our school..."

Junpei didn't believe it. He actually made Kuroko tell him something.

"Where are you working?" he asked.

Tetsuya aimed his gaze at the glass windowsd of the shop on the opposite street.

"In this convenience store near the railway station..."

They reached the crossing of the two streets. They stopped.

"I'm going here..."

Kuroko nodded. He then looked straight into Hyuuga's eyes. It made him feel uncomfortable. Like these cunning eyes were looking right into his mind. He couldn't run away from that pressure.

"Ano, Captain..."

Junpei put his hand in front of Kuroko's mouth.

"Don't worry. I won't tell anybody about it. If you're working, you mean you have your own reasons. Just have it as a secret. We don't want you to leave our basketball team."

He wasn't sure but he saw relief painted on his face. But as suddenly as it appeared, it mysteriously disappeared.

Kuroko bowed.

They said to each other their goodbyes and walked opposite wayst.

Hyuuga adjusted the strap of his sports bag and looked at the cloudy sky above him.

So that was why Kuroko was so tired. Because he was working in a shop. Of course he must do it in the nighttime so he can't have enough sleep. But something didn't quite fit too well in this thesis. Like... he was lacking some of the puzzle pieces.

He tried to remember the changing orbs of the boy, the movements of his head when he answered him, the things which he was looking at.

He stopped and put his finger to his mouth. He understood that this wasn't the end of his job.

* * *

The boy slowly climbed the metal stairs that creaked under his weight. From his bag, he got out his keys and started to spin it in his palm. He walked and opened dirty doors with the smallest key and walked inside a faintly lighted corridor. He heard talking voices coming from every door that was in this place.

He walked on the dirty green carpet that was lying on the floor and stopped at the third door on the left. He slowly opened it and walked inside.

What he saw were kids sitting on the floor in his living room and staring at the old TV that was switched on and was showing some kind of cartoon.

When he closed the door, all the small faces turned to him. And it was like a wave.

All the kids stood from their position and ran to him, throwing themselves at his legs and hugging them.

They started to shout at him and smiled. He kneeled and greeted each one of them, ruffling his hair or brushing his nose. They started to ask about his injury all at the same time so he could only smile and respond.

Then from the living room came a girl. She was smaller than him, had unusual long blond hair and eyes. Orbs were so warm and energetic; it reminded him of leaves that are coming out in the spring. He has some t-shirts and used light jeans.

"Welcome back nii-san!" she said, smiling a little.

"I'm back..." he responded, nodding at her.

Some kid tugged on his sleeve so he looked down. A boy with short brown hair showed him a picture.

Kuroko looked at the amount of cordial colors that were splashed onto the paper and he smiled.

"It's beautiful..."

The boy grinned and ran back to the living room.

The blue-haired boy looked at the children that were still near his legs. They were gaping at him with these big shining eyes.

"I'll make dinner..." he stated.

They all shouted in happiness and ran back to the living room.

The boy turned to the kitchen.

They only had a gas cooker, a sink, and a little devastated table. Above it, there hung shelves with all the needed equipment. In the corner of the kitchen stood a fridge that was making some kind of buzzing sound.

Kuroko looked into the haversack only to find the half of yesterday's bread. He sighed.

"What happened to your nose?"

He didn't have to turn to recognize the voice of the blond haired girl. She slowly stepped inside the room and walked to the fridge to take something from there.

"I just fell down during practice..." he answered.

He felt the girl was looking at him. He took the bread out and put it on the table. Soon, the girl approached him and started to make sandwiches with him.

They didn't talk, only their hands moved almost in the same rhythm, making a pile of bread. When they finished, there were two plates filled with food. They both took it and walked outside.

When they were in the corridor, they heard a knocking at the door.

The boy looked at the girl. She took the plate from his hands and nodded, walking to the living room.

Kuroko slowly stepped towards the door and listened to the knocking. It wasn't too loud and it was echoing in a regular sound - three in a row.

He opened the door.

Before him, there stood a woman with her long brown hair falling on her arms and almost touching her elbows. In her arms, she cuddled a little girl.

"Ah, welcome back." she greeted him warmly. Her long black eyelashes fluttered when she blinked a few times.

"Good evening," he nodded.

The woman smiled. Her lips were covered in red lipstick. She put the little girl on the ground and kissed her forehead softly.

The girl ran inside the house, leaving her mother in the doorway.

"Sorry to bother you all the time..." she whispered, looking at the boy and adjusting the tight-fitting shirt on her chest. Her eyes went somewhat sad.

Kuroko nodded.

"No problem. It's better for them to be in one place under the cunning eye of Ruri at night..." he stated simply.

The woman smiled at him and brushed her eyes with her wrist. Then she blinked a few times.

"Ah, Master wanted to see you earlier today..." she whispered.

Kuroko stiffened at this news. Then he slowly breathed in and out.

"Thanks for the information, Eme..." he said.

The brunette lifted her gaze so now her emerald eyes were looking into the cerulean of the boy's.

"Just look out today..." she whispered.

The boy nodded and thanked her. Then they said goodbye.

He felt his heart beating faster. He slowly walked inside the living room where all the children stared at the moving screen of the television.

Not wanting to have the attention of this crowd, he turned to the left where you could see a curtain. He slowly flipped it open and went inside the coexisting room.

There he saw two little kids - a boy and a girl. They had the same color of his hair and were passionately searching for something in the album that lay on the floor. They lay on their stomachs so their feet were swinging in the air.

When they spotted him, they stood up and walked to him at the same time.

"Welcome back, nii-chan..." they said in unison.

Tetsuya kneeled and hugged them, greeting them back. Then he stood and walked to the little night drawer in the corner of the room. He opened one of the drawers and got some packets and an inhaler.

He stopped in front of the twins and crouched.

At the same time, in walked a girl and sat in seiza near the boy.

"Come here, Maru..."

The boy nodded and walked to her and sat on her lap, looking at his sister.

Kuroko meanwhile took out the inhaler and put it into the kid's mouth.

"Breath deeply, Miri..."

The girl nodded and did as he said. They stayed in this position for a while, the little girl breathing in and out with closed eyes and the boy pressing the bottom. After that, he gave one of the lozenges from the packet in his other hand. The girl put it into her mouth. Her cheeks were bright red.

Taller from them ruffled girl hair and stood. He then turned and opened the old wardrobe that was behind him. He didn't look this sight.

"Are you going now?" asked Ruri, hugging the boy.

Kuroko turned to her.

"I must be early today..." he murmured and kneeled in front of the opened wardrobe.

The girl didn't answer. She still sat behind him with a boy in her lap.

He felt as someone tugged his shirt. He turned to look at the girl.

Her eyes were looking into his own. Her palm clenched around the material.

"Are you alright...?" she asked in that tone of a worrying child.

Kuroko blinked and after a few seconds. he hugged the girl to his chest.

"Of course I am..."

* * *

He slowly walked the empty streets of Tokyo in the deep evening. He could feel his breath that was forming a cloud in the cold air. He zipped his jacket up and put his hands in his pockets.

Somehow he managed to cover the big bruise on his nose, as it was almost invisible. The one thing that cheered him up, if he could say that, was that in the dark, nobody was going to see it anyway.

His legs ached, but so did his head. He wanted to go to sleep and cover himself in a pile of blankets. It was his dream, that simple.

He turned on one of the corners and stopped in front of a wooden door. He heard the sound of loud music coming from inside. He looked at the neon of the lights above the entrance. He slowly walked in.

He didn't walked toward where the source of the beating music was. He heard loud laughter coming from this section and the sound of bottles hitting each other.

For them it was fun.

He walked on the stairs on the left of the first floor. Then he put out paper that he kept in the pocket of his pants and in the faint light of the bulb above him, he read the few words. Then he stopped in the front of a door with the number 203. He slowly put his hand up. He reread the paper one more time. His heart beat fast like it wanted to escape from his chest.

He knocked on the door.

From the inside he heard a loud voice that was allowing him to enter.

He gulped and slowly opened the door. He walked inside the dark room. The first thing that he saw was a bed.

He hated it.

Kuroko Tetsuya hated his job.

* * *

Yep, yep I'm uploading new fic, and not ending the other ones till now xD! I'm a very unorganised person! But I'm writing this when I have the mood for it. But so much Angst... Why I'm writing angst story when I'm very optimistic xD? I like comment from my friend. He said that he felt sad when he read this chapter even if nothing happened in here... D: Should I be happy or sad?

And this fic... I don't know what this is about in the end xD. Just I like this very suspense story. Maybe thats it.

Ah and the title! "_Contra Spem Spero"_ mean in latin _"I believe against hope". _We were reading one polish poem ("Contra Spem Spero" Maria Konopnicka) in polish class, and when I heard what it mean I just must made it as a title to this fic. I think it suits it perfectly xD. But it is a latin proverb in the first place.

I think in future it will bloom into KiKuro... but now I don't know in 100%. Anyway hope you'll like it!

And thanks to:

ChocolateFantasies - that she corrected it. xD I know... it was hard work! Thank you.

Mikami - that you corrected it after about... a month xD!

And thank you for reading.

Till next chapter... That I hope I'll update soon! xD


	2. Chapter 2

Series: Kuroko no Basket

Genre: Angst

Rating: NC-17/R

All original characters belongs to Fujimaki Tadatoshi. OC characters belong to me.

* * *

When he finally reached his home, it was morning.

He slowly moved his legs on the metal stairs and walked into the dirty corridor. He put out his keys and put them into the lock. He opened the door and slowly moved inside.

There was silence in the room. All the lights were turned off. In the living room, the children under the futon were lying together, trying to warm themselves up just a little bit. One of them snored. A girl at the end of the line turned over.

He hung up his jacket and took off his shoes.

Everything hurt him. Every part, every inch of his body felt like it was on fire. He could barely move to the kitchen to switch on the water and splash his face with it.

He breathed heavily in and out. He felt dirty, disgusted. He wanted to scratch his skin until he could see blood slowly dripping from the wound. He wanted to wash himself, scour himself until there will be no more skin. Just to feel a little bit lighter.

He lifted his head when he heard a knocking on the door. He wiped his face with atowel and slowly walked to the front door.

Knock, knock, and knock – in the rhythm of three times.

He looked through peephole and slowly opened the door.

In front of him stood two tall women. One of them was the woman from yesterday with long brown hair that was now untidy. Her mascara under her left eye was smeared around it like she had wanted to wipe something from her eye. She had one scratch on the cheek, barely visible under the faint light coming from the window in the living room.

The other one was a woman with a bunch of curly garnet-red hair. Bangs were covering her vemeilled orbs.

Kuroko bowed, acknowledging the women.

"Good morning..." he whispered, not wanting to wake the kids.

"Good morning," murmured the woman with straight hair: Eme.

The one next to her only nodded, trying to smile a little bit at him.

He turned and walked slowly into the living room. He looked around. Slowly, he lifted up the little body of a girl and turned with the kid in his arms. He walked to the exit and passed the girl to the emerald-eyed woman.

He then returned once again with a boy in his arms. He handed him to his redhead mother.

"Thank you for your care..." said the woman on the left, brushing the cheek of her son with her pointing finger.

"Today, Ruri was looking after them. I didn't even have time to make them breakfast..." Tetsuya smiled a little bit.

The women searched for something in their handbags. They handed him a few coins and one bank note.

"Sorry..." Eme looked right into his eyes.

Kuroko could see his reflection in her green irises.

"Don't worry..." he mumbled and looked at his palm. He could only pray that it would be enough for all of them.

"We'll pay you more tomorrow..."

The boy stared at the red-haired woman.

"You don't have to do that, Cherry..." he said.

The woman lifted her gaze to him.

"I know that we are in bad times, so don't worry..." He tried to put some hope in his voice. He didn't know if he made that but the woman named Cherry smiled at him and bowed. They said goodbye.

Kuroko locked the door and turned to look at the pile of kids still sleeping in his living room.

The clock tolled the full hour.

The boy turned and lit up the kitchen.

* * *

"Are you ready?"

The blue-haired twins stood in their school uniforms in the doorway and nodded their heads at almost the same time.

He turned off the water and walked to their room. He took his school bag and turned.

His whole body ached when he got up from bending down. He had to bite his lips when he felt his thigh brush against something. If he ate something, he successfully had to vomit it right away on their blankets.

But he didn't have time for that. He didn't have time to wash himself, not to mention cleaning his house. Even now, he was late to morning practice.

How was he supposed to move?

He returned to his siblings standing at the door. They walked out and he locked the door. The twins ran to the exit.

He sighed.

"Are you alright?"

He stared at Ruri that stopped next to him. Her unusually light hair lay on her arms, slowly fading to her back. She had these cunning eyes that could see through almost everybody. At the same time, they could be as cold as ice and as warm as fire.

He knew that look maybe too well. The look that that girl showed him when she was worried.

"Y-yes..." Kuroko stuttered and hid the keys in his pocket.

The girl stared at him, and then lowered her gaze to his chest that was moving up and down. She then looked at the floor.

"I'm sorry..."

He blinked at this sentence and tried to smile—he rarely showed this to anyone. He put his cold hand under her chin and lifted her face so that she could look at him.

"I'm alright. It's not your fault. And anyway, I have showers in school."

Ruri looked into his eyes.

Her orbs were full of guilt, sadness, fatigue, and worry. And these big bags under them in the color of muddy water. And in that time, there was something inside them. A little spark.

"I'll walk them to school. You can go..." she murmured and turned to the exit. Her bangs fell over her eyes.

Tetsuya stood for a while, staring at the disappearing girl. He then put his hand on his stomach and looked at his free hand.

"I'm the one who should be sorry..."

* * *

He felt bad. Maybe even worse than in the morning. He hated that feeling. He hated it. He wanted to hide his face; he wanted to disappear.

He felt everything in his body a hundred times more painfully. The movement of his muscles, the touching of his skin on clothes.

He felt dirty. He wanted to scratch his chest, his arm, and his legs until there was no more dirt. But it was impossible.

He wanted to throw up, but his stomach was empty. The only thing that could be throwed up was bile.

He wanted to wash himself, just a touch of clean water and get rid of everything on and in his body that was showing the presence of somebody else.

Get rid of it. Now, now, now, now!

"Kuroko..."

Now, now, now, now. Dirty! He felt it in his body. Slowly. The touching of skin on clothes. A clammy substance on his legs. Dirty, dirty, dirty.

"Can you hear me...?"

Dirty, water... Sorry. Can't take it. Just get rid of it. More, more, more, more.

Just stop, just stop! Aching place. Here, there. They don't know. They know, they know. They see through you, they all know. No they don't... That's just paranoia.

So sleepy. But he needed to get rid of it. Get rid, get rid...

"Kuroko!"

Someone hit him on the head.

He turned his head from the desk and stared at Kagami. He was holding his palm a few centimeters above his head.

Tetsuya opened his mouth and closed it again.

"What was that for?" he finally asked.

The redhead stared at him, like he wanted to see something.

Don't look, don't look. Please.

He brushed his nose. He still had gauze on it.

"Never mind, you looked like you spaced off. Ah, today's morning training was too tiring... I want to wash myself..."

"Me too..."

* * *

"Hyuuga-kun."

Junpei lifted his head from his bento that lay on his desk. After spotting the brown-haired girl next to him, he put away his hashi and stood up.

"What do you want?" he asked, staring at Riko who was smaller than him.

The girl smiled and took his arm.

"Let's go somewhere private..."

He lifted one of his eyebrows, but allowed the girl to drag him somewhere 'private'.

This somewhere private was the stairs to the roof. It was a pretty good place for this private conversation, in Junpei's opinion.

Aida sat on a step and stared at him. He leaned on the back.

"So what do you want?" he asked one more time, crossing his arms over his chest.

His spectacles fell a little bit.

"I know you know what I want to ask," murmured the girl, directing at him her brown orbs that were somehow filled with anxiety.

They stared at each other until Hyuuga fixed his glasses.

"Nothing much... I only found out that he had to do something after school..."

"Part-time job?" asked Riko, putting her finger on her chin in a thinking gesture.

Junpei didn't answer this. He promised Kuroko he wasn't going to do it. He only prayed that this girl would know that silence was his acceptance.

"Something more?"

He blinked at that question.

Was there something more? Not to mention the mysterious atmosphere around the boy. Almost nothing. Or almost everything. But now... he knows nothing.

"What do you mean?"

This time, Riko crossed her arms and stared into space. She did this when she cannot put her thoughts together in one mind.

"I don't know how to say it... But I think that Kuroko-kun is getting worse and worse... But mentally," she mumbled, barely parting her lips. Like she was saying things to herself.

"Mentally?"

Aida nodded.

"Maybe you'll understand when you see him practicing... You'll understand what I mean..."

* * *

He tried to sit on the bench but he couldn't. He tried to drink some Pocari from his bottle but he cannot do this too. He felt sweat dripping from his forehead and rolling down his neck. He felt as his bones ground in stifles of his leg when he bent down. He felt all his nerves that cried for rest.

But he cannot calm his mind.

So he leaned against the locker in his changing room, waiting for all of his teammates to walk out. Then he can be alone. And he can clean himself.

He heard water splashing on the floor; he heard steps on puddles of water and chatting. He heard it all. Clearly.

He covered his eyes with his towel.

Just a few minutes, just a few minutes. And it will all be gone, gone, gone...

His ears caught the sound of someone turning off the tap.

He turned to fake that he was searching for something in the locker.

After that, people went into the changing room.

Kuroko waited, waited still pretending that he was searching for something.

"Kuroko?"

He lifted his head. Kagami stood in the door with his bag on his arm.

"Ya' going?" He asked pointing at the exit with his head.

Tetsuya shook his head.

"Go. I need to do something."

The redhead stared at him and saying goodbye, he went out. With his exit, the changing room went silent.

He was all alone. All alone.

He took the towel and bottle with half empty shower gel and walked into the showers.

* * *

The boy touched his bag. Then he unzipped it and started to search in it.

"What happened, Hyuuga?"

Junpei lifted his head.

"Sorry, I forgot my cellphone. Go without me."

Izuki nodded and turned to Koganei with whom he had talked with until now.

Hyuuga turned and walked in the direction of the gym. He walked inside. The vorridors were already dark as everyone had gone out just a while ago.

Or not.

Somewhere in the background he heard... water splashing? Like someone was taking a shower.

He went into their changing room. The sound of water became clearer. Hyuuga opened his locker and from the bottom of it, he took his mobile phone and hid it in the pocket of his school uniform.

He turned to leave this place but he spotted a Seirin sports bag lying unzipped on the bench. From the inside he saw their white jersey with the number 11 on the back.

"Kuroko?" he murmured to himself. He then stared at the shower room door from where the sound of running water still came . Then another sound, like someone was hitting the wall... the hollow sound of a palm hitting the tiles.

Pushed by curiosity, he walked to the door while taking deep breaths into his lungs. He slowly turned the doorknob, not wanting to make the door creak and scare this person that was still in the gym.

When he walked inside, he had to take off his glasses that had become covered in steam in a second. The room was unbelievably stuffy, making it hard to breathe. The water started to cling to his clothes and then to his skin, making it harder to move.

From one of the shower stalls that was covered by a curtain came the sound of flowing water. It dripped right into the run-off.

The captain slowly stepped closer. He didn't want to walk into some puddle of water on the floor and he came forward slowly, so as not to make any resounding sound. He stopped near the wall separating one stall from another one.

Curiosity kills the man.

Slowly, he took the curtain in his pointing finger and thumb and moved it, so he could peek.

He saw a blunette boy, naked. The water coming from the shower was dripping right onto his head, making his hair stick to his neck. He was looking down or maybe he had his eyes closed; Hyuuga didn't know. He was leaning on the wall with one hand. His right leg was a little higher.

Junpei looked a little bit down and covered his mouth.

On the boy's thigh streamed down drops of blood mixed with a white liquid.

And Hyuuga knew exactly what this substance was. Semen. And the semen that wasn't the boy's. It was someone else's.

He heard a whimper and he lifted his head a little bit.

Kuroko clung to the wall and covered his face by his forearm. He sniffed. And then he clenched his fist, making the knuckles turn white. He shut his eyes more tightly. He whined and a ruddy drop flew to the floor and mixed with hot water.

Tetsuya touched the wall with his head and slowly kneeled down. He brushed his eyes and then touched his ribs.

Now Junpei saw bruises that covered almost all of the left side of Kuroko's body. Blue mixed with gray. They were made not so long ago.

He heard a whimper. He knew that Kuroko was crying, covering his eyes with one palm.

Hyuuga wasn't supposed to see this. He knew it, he knew it. He just flouted something that he shouldn't touch. The most hidden secret.

When he thought about it, he felt as if his stomach shrank and all his food went higher in his throat. He put his palm near his mouth and looked around to spot the door to the toilet. Slowly, still not wanting to scare the boy, he walked there and went inside. He closed the door and kneeled in front of the water closet and threw up.

He breathed hard, trying to catch air in his lungs. His chest hurt, his mind hurt, he felt as if the walls were whirling. He sat there in almost darkness, trying to calm himself after what he saw.

The moments just repeated in his head. Again and again.

He vomited one more time. After that, the water turned off.

After that, Junpei heard splashing of water under someone's bare feet. His heart beat fast. He waited.

Finally, after a long time of waiting for the door to the changing room to close, making it clear that Kuroko had gone out.

Hyuuga sat on the cold floor and touched his forehead. His glasses fell down.

He had never felt an urge to do this, but in this moment, only one word left his lips.

"Fuck..."

* * *

A girl with long blonde hair stepped on the metal stairs leading to their house. A boy and girl with blue hair ran quickly in front of her. The boy shouted something to his sister. The girl tried to catch the running boy's arm.

They both disappeared down the corridor.

Ruri stopped upstairs and turned to look at the rusty mailbox. She searched for the one with the number to their house and after spotting it she opened it.

Inside lay two yellow letters.

The girl took both and stared at the name of the sender. One was from someone that she didn't know. But she was sure she had heard that name somewhere.

Ruri stared at the second letter. She then gritted her teeth.

On the envelope, the words 'Summon to pay current' were typewritten.

"Are you coming nee-chan?"

She lifted her face and quickly hid the letter in her bag.

"I'm coming..."

* * *

Kuroko got home when it was already dark.

He touched his forehead. Even without a thermometer, he knew he had a high temperature. Not to mention that he didn't dry his hair so he walked in the cold air with a wet head. But he wanted to be home earlier.

He breathed in and out, wanting the dizziness in his head to vanish. He then walked inside.

He tried to smile when the bunch of kids went to him and started to shout. He wanted to listen to every one of them, but he felt so tired, so weak.

He patted a girl with brown hair tied in ponytails.

"Hungry?" he asked.

All the children nodded or yelled in confirmation.

"Okay, I'll make something for you..."

The kids grinned at him and ran to the living room where the TV was turned on. They sat or lay on the ground.

Tetsuya tried to walk into the kitchen but his legs felt limp. He put his hand on the table and closed his eyes.

Everything was going to be all right.

"Nii-san..."

He turned his head. Just behind him stood Ruri clenching her too big shirt. She was looking straight at him.

He liked that look. The green helping nature that shined in the dark house.

"I'm alright...," he mumbled, lifting the corner of his lips just a little bit. "Anyway, today I'm only going to the convenience store... I'll be alright..."

The cheek of the girl twitched but her expression didn't change.

They stared at each other.

He knew that the girl wanted to tell him something. She always made that serious face when she wanted to say something important and it wasn't always good.

"I...," she started.

Kuroko didn't move.

"I... I will help you with dinner..."

The boy didn't want to pressure her so he only nodded.

* * *

Hyuuga couldn't sleep. Or maybe he just didn't want to. When he was closing his eyes, the scene from the toilet just repeated itself.

He couldn't eat. When he got home, he drank two glasses of water and walked right to his room where he stayed until late evening.

He knew Kuroko lied to him or just inked out the truth. What was real and where did the imagination end...

Shit, shit, shit, shit...

Those bruises, those tears, those whimpers. It didn't want to go out.

What is he supposed to do now? What should he do now, fuck...

Now he knew it, he didn't want Kuroko to feel alone. Yet he didn't want to misunderstand anything.

He wanted to help him, but first... he needed to know the truth.

* * *

Kuroko put on his jacket and turned to Ruri.

"Be back sometime around 3 a.m..."

The girl showed him a smile on her thin pink lips.

"Just be careful..."

The boy nodded and went out, glancing one more time at the kids sleeping in the living room.

After he walked out, the house went silent. The only sound was of the clock ticking in the kitchen and the sound of snoring children.

The girl pushed the curtains aside and walked inside their sleeping room. Maru and Miri were sleeping under a brown blanket, hugging each other in their sleep.

She kneeled next to the lamp that was barely lighting the corner. From her bag, she took an envelope and tore it open. The white sheet fell from inside to her palms.

She started to read.

Her eyes moved from one side to another, up to down. She put a finger to her chin and stopped at the bottom of the document. Her orbs went wider as she grasped the paper more tightly.

"S-so much...," she whispered.

Ruri felt as if her stomach went higher.

* * *

Kise walked to his house, dragging his feet on the floor. He threw his jacket on the hanger. After that, he greeted his mum and kissed her forehead.

"Do you want something to eat?" the woman asked, lifting her head to look at her son.

Ryouta shook his head.

"Nah, I'm not hungry. I'm going to my room..."

The woman nodded and returned to watching TV.

The boy left the room and walked upstairs to his. Almost immediately, he fell on his large bed. The green blanket billowed up.

Kise hid his face in one of his yellow pillows. His muscles ached, so did his head. Five photo sessions in one week and training in school. This was too much for his body.

But tomorrow was his free day. A day free from photographers, from people that told him what to wear and how to pose. A day free from all his work.

He hummed under his breath and started to search for something in his pocket.

He knew exactly how he wanted to spend this day and with whom.

The blond searched his list of contacts and stopped at the letter "K". He pressed a few buttons quickly and grinned at the results. He then clicked the send button.

_Message to Kurokocchi delivered._

He then turned onto his back and hugged a pillow and his phone, still grinning.

"I hope Kurokocchi has free time..."

* * *

When he walked inside his home he felt even worse. The shift to this job was too much for him. He couldn't move his legs properly and he had to stop to catch his breath.

The whole house was quiet. The kids were sleeping under jackets, blankets or quilt—under something that they had found inside.

On his tiptoes, he walked to their sleeping room. The twins were hugging a girl whose blonde hair was lying freely on an old, dirty pillow. They were snoring quietly.

He put his bag away. He sat down and from inside, he took an envelope and his phone. He flipped it open to check the time. Kuroko blinked when he saw the envelope symbol.

The boy pushed one button and the message opened.

_From: Kise_

_To: Kurokocchi_

_Title: Hyoho~_

_Message: I've got some free time tomorrow. Do you want to go to Majiba? Answer quickly._

Somehow this message made his lips go higher. He stared at it; he put his finger on the button with 'answer' but he froze.

He lifted his head and gazed at the wall.

"I'm sorry... Kise-kun..."

He shut his phone and fell on the bed, not even putting on his blanket to warm his burning body.

* * *

"Kuroko, are you alright?"

The said boy turned to his friend who was still holding the ball in his hand. He blinked.

"Yes, why are you asking?" The boy tilted his head to the side while staring at Kagami.

The redhead scratched the back of his head and turned his head, like he didn't want to look at Tetsuya.

"I-I was just asking..." he stuttered and after that, he put his hands in front of him so Kuroko could pass it.

Hyuuga sighed and crossed his hands over his chest.

Now he only watched, as the first-years were moving in the passing training. The senpais at the same time, sho\ot some hoops from the three-point line. The captain just stared.

His eyes were following the blunette, step after step. They were going good, just...

Kuroko's knee suddenly bended, but the boy quickly caught his balance and ran after Kagami to pass to him one more time.

"Well, today he's doing better than yesterday..."

The captain turned his head.

Riko at the same time sat on the bench and looked at her file of all the players. She pointed at something in it with her finger.

"But his stamina is still going down..." she mumbled, not really directing her words to her friend, but Junpei nodded at this statement.

He stared as Taiga fist-bumped with Tetsuya, smiling from ear to ear. Then Furihata walked over to them and patted the smallest of all of them on back.

He pushed his glasses higher.

"Do you have a plan?"

Junpei stared at their coach with eyes that were a little bit wider. Aida grinned at him in this evil manner. She tapped his chin with a pen.

"You always have this serious face when you're thinking about something..."

The boy sat next to her.

"Well you could say so... It's just a simple one-shot plan..."

* * *

Well, Hyuuga's plan had only one option. Just corner the boy and ask directly.

He was never a man for psychological plays or stalking. He liked to have things clear. In one-shot-like he said.

He sighed for the nth time this afternoon. He was getting nervous.

The boy was in the shadows, a few meters from the changing room. He watched everyone that left the room. Kuroko was still inside. Just as he predicted.

Suddenly, the doors opened and a low voice came to his ears.

"So I'm going now... Bye!"

Kagami said goodbye to his partner and closed the doors. He walked out the gym.

It was now or never.

Junpei slowly stepped inside the room. He heard a rustle from inside. But it wasn't as loud as the sound of his heartbeat. It almost felt like it could jump from his chest.

He touched the handle and took a big breath in and after that he burst inside.

Hyuuga walked inside with his eyes closed and hands in his pocket. He then closed the door and leaned on it, closing it with the pressure of his body. After that, he opened his eyelids.

Tetsuya stood there, in front of his locker. It looked like he was buttoning his white shirt but at the loud sound he stopped his movements.

He blinked, surprise clearly painted in his eyes.

"What are you doing here, Captain?" he asked, staring right at him. His eyes returned to the normal ones.

Hyuuga gulped, putting all of his courage together. He stared right into his eyes. He gulped.

"I saw you..." he said, trying to sound calm.

The boy didn't answer, maybe his gaze became more sharp. It looked like he wanted Hyuuga to continue.

"Yesterday, in the shower. I saw what you did. I saw your bruises... " His voice became quieter and quieter. Even then, he still held his composure.

Blue orbs widened, palms trembled like he had ague, and cheeks became pale like lime.

He bowed down his head so his blue bangs covered his eyes.

His legs shook.

Hyuuga breathed in heavily. The next sentence came out with a harsh tone—like an order.

"Tell me, who did this to you?"

Kuroko was silent. Slowly, after a few seconds that felt like eternity, he took one step back.

* * *

Finally... and sorry. I'm sometimes too shy to write very embarassing things... So this looks like it looks xD. Anyway hope you like it!

I hope that you're very curious of next chapter :3. And I really like Hyuuga and concept of Kuroko and Hyuuga friendship~. In next chapter I'll try to put more Kagami thoughts and of course... more Kise XD!

Great thanks to:

ChocolateFantasies - for her hard work, because my grammar is very terrible xD.

And to you Reader, that you're here!

Till later!


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